Epilogue

    The next days passed, ultimately, much like a montage sequence in a film. There were lazy mornings spent hanging around the von Igor residence, which Momma Igor became increasingly tolerant of. There were afternoons spent in Igor's bedroom with great piles of medical journals piled as high as the bed, which Poppa Igor was increasingly sad about. So sad, in fact, he resorted to his only viable option.

    "So, Momma, you play catch with me?"

    Momma Igor thought about it for a moment, then offered her response. "Only if you look like Brad Pitt."

    "Okay, but you know this end of Brad's film career." Poppa Igor then gently knocked on Igor's bedroom door, stuck his head in for just a moment, stated "Momma and I are going to California for a while boys. Don't wait up for us."

    In the presence of absence of Igor's parents, Victor and Igor started to play doctor in the privacy of Igor's bedroom - literally. Igor revealed the secrets of his familial history, explained the intricacies of life granting electricity, and happily surrendered the secret family recipes and liquids of sustaining random piles of flesh and other organs in coherent form, all of which Victor promised to keep secret, but ultimately used as the basis of his doctoral thesis:

Humpty Dumpty - An Evil Perspective:
The Possibilities And The Potential.

    Once his doctorate was officially obtained, Victor Frankenstein immediately took to acting like an arrogant prick to all those who harmlessly called him by name, and not by his shiny new title.

    Dr. Nefarious and the rest of Victor's instructor's at Evil University had pulled a few strings in the community and assured the tumbledown castle would be Victor's from now on, managing even to get him a generous government grant that would fund his research, and provide all that he and Igor would ever need for a considerable measure of time.

* * * * *

    Eventually, Dr. Flappy made a full recovery from his injuries sustained under the big top, and ultimately retired from the performing arts altogether. He now sells home appliances at a major retailer located in Toad Suck, Arkansas.

* * * * *

    Dr. Nefarious, unable to get a proper position in the standard medical care facilities, founded a homeopathic clinic in Los Angeles that encourages anorexia in its patients. Nefarious, so far, has managed to keep his unique means of sexual gratification in his pants.

* * * * *

    Kyle, former patron of the Keep Klothes Klean Laundromat, married his lover Tyrone, moved to Zimbabwe, and they lived happily ever after.

* * * * *

    Joe Wazniack, formerly The Grand High Mystic, is home once again. His planet is in the earliest days of the golden age of peace which will last many, many millennia. Upon Melvin's latest report to Igor, his older brother is hating every single minute of it.

* * * * *

    Missy, ever vigilant member of the Cult of the Lowercase T, is still peering in other people's places of worship, demanding to know why they're not willing to pay for the gifts she offers them via the Savior of the Cult of the Lowercase T. It's only out of sheer godliness the rival temple members haven't broken her knees, duct tape her mouth shut, and dropped her in the nearest river.

* * * * *

    Roger Frankenstein, his beloved wife, and their circus are now touring the country once again, after the debacle of the human cannonball incident. Jojo The Monkey Christ is now the star attraction. Ticket sales are through the roof.

* * * * *

    As for Igor and the newly minted Dr. Victor Frankenstein, the adventure of scientific discovery  is only beginning. What could possibly go wrong?

The End...?